Let's start with a few that I can remember...

My all time favorite stories must be prefaced with a description of the floor I work on.  I work in neuroscience so most of my patients have had strokes, brain bleeds or have brain tumors.  You may not realize it, but brain tumors can make people act like they are psychiatric patients.  A little run-down: frontal lobe tumors are the worst and make people mean as snakes, other tumors really aren't any better but they make people have a range of behavioral changes from forgetting what happened five seconds ago to thinking that you are trying to kill them (and they mean it!).  Bleeds and strokes affect parts of the brain similar to tumors and therefore illicit similar responses.  Not all of my patients have behavioral changes, I have a lot of sweet, normal patients, too, believe it or not!  However, as one could probably imagine, this can be frustrating for nurses and especially family members.  This is what makes my job so hard and also generates some of the most unusual moments anyone may have at work! 

Mr. Peeping Tom

When I was fresh off of orientation I entered a room to help a patient that wasn't mine that had an alarm going off.  

Me: No, you need that pulse ox on your finger, don't chew on it! 

Patient: You guys are trying to kill me!!

Me: Sir, we are not trying to kill you.  We are trying to help you.

Patient: If you are not trying to kill me, then show me your titty.

Me: (Speechless) silenced alarm and walked out of room... 

So you probably aren't laughing yet, but think about it this way... this man, in all of his confusion, had a good plan. You have to give him an "A" for effort... it is odd to me, though, that he only wanted to see one breast (titty singular, not titties...) 

Mrs. X

Just the other day I was taking care of a sweet little African American lady.  She knows her name but thinks its 1978 and I couldn't make out where she said she was, but she said no when I asked her if this was a hospital.  Long story short, she is what we call blissfully confused.  She's confused but doesn't really care.  She is hospitable and smiles when people come in the room, laughs a lot, and sleeps even more.  I love patients like her, and they are why I know I wasn't meant to be a pediatric nurse- little old ladies are so much more fun!  

She is also has most little old ladies are- an incredibly hard stick! I was in her room, leaning over her arm "digging" to find a vein, I was SO close to getting a flash.  She starts batting my hanging hair back and forth, sort of swatting at me at first but then realizing that she likes my hair and the way it swings.  So I laugh and ask, "Do you like my hair, Mrs. X?"  Sweet lady who can barely put together a clear answer to her name clearly and gleefully says, "I LOVE your hair!"  I couldn't help but laugh!  I wanted to give her a big hug! 

Mr. Best Man Ever

There was a man who spent months on our unit, a stroke having left him unable to move or talk.  Every nurse on the unit had taken care of him and his sweet wife.  People came day and night to see him and talked to us about what wonderful things he and his wife had done for them.  He grew increasingly unresponsive and it had gotten to the point where we weren't really sure that he was with us at all- his eyes open but he had no engaging eye contact.  He made some small strides but eventually the family decided that he needed to be transported to a hospice house.  I was assigned to him the day he was to be discharged to hospice.  The transport team had come to pick him up and I was taking his leads off and getting him ready to go.  I was engrossed in what I was doing when I heard his wife say to me from behind me, "He is looking at you."  I looked up to see him looking right in my eyes, a toothy smile on his face. He nodded his head and mouthed, "thank you."  I talked to him for a few seconds and just as quickly as he came to, he was gone.  I kept it together until he was gone to the hospice house and will always consider it a privilege to have been his nurse that day.  A sign from God that what I am doing helps people. I am in the right place.  

So that is all I've got for this session.  The stories range from funny, to sweet, to sad/sweet.  Hope you enjoyed and hopefully the fluidity of my writing will improve over time:)